Allure Mag
Things always look up
Bought my first chain, I’m in lovey love, been working 30 hour weeks, senior year, making so many nice happy relationships, all my guy friends hyping me up, my baes reassuring me my bangs look okay after I pulled a 07 Brittany…all this but I been havng breakdowns every day and just crying and crying no wonder now I’m off my mood stabilizer I really just cry and I’m reckless and so messy just like before…I’m blaming it on the stars again but my flip flop mood makes me wanna tell yall that it always turns out okay and u can find peace even if shit sucks
Somebody I love relapsed on herion and is so strung out and his mom went missing and my house got broken into and my bong that I love so dearly got stolen and my best friend of 10 years is in the hospital for an intentional overdose and mercury has been is retrograde for like 1 day WTF YALL B SAFE
Anonymous asked:
Hi I’m just wondering where u get all ur Newport cigs from? I’m only 16 and I have no older friends who can get me sum, u have any suggestions on where to get them? Thx 💕
Sometimes my dad buys them for me but my best advice is 1. Ask around ur high school to see if there are any non chain markets (not 7/11, like an asian mart) that doesn’t card and 2. Stand outside a corner store by a busy bus stop or something and ask older people to get them for u. I usually stand outside where the checkout people can’t see me, ask people to buy them for me bc I lost my ID lol. Or 3. Ask homeless people to get them for u but give them a 10 and have them keep the change and give them some Ports too bc they doing u a favor. B safe :) 💕
I am very angry that I let myself take so much Xanax last year, and that it made me forget a lot of amazing times with really special magical charismatic people, and like I know I’m young and I was and still am growing as a person, but I chose that habit and just stopped feeling and numbed my emotions so bad when I had somebody who really cared about me and I’ll never forget how I fucked that up! And I’m real sad I did all that and had to check myself in to rehab and I’m thinking about it and it was great I did that but even sitting during rec time in the pretty summer listening to chance the rapper with Maude like I can’t believe I was in there for what would’ve been a special summer of fixing old and making new relationships. I am so bitter about that it makes me want to cry but I’m glad I’m w who I am now, but I’m a dyslexic baby who hurt a lot of people and I always want to fix my mistakes from last year and I’m really glad I’m growing from that but it still fucks me I can’t get over it; I can reassure myself tho that it wasn’t all me, and I was living with the most mean toxic scary drug addict but that was only half of it, like it was just an influence idk I wish things had been different.